Something Unforgivable?
by IMTrinity
Summary: Can Legolas forgive the unforgivable?


Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine.  
  
A/N: This is A/L slash, nothing explicit at all though. Please, no flames, constructive criticism always welcome.   
  
I waited for him all night, but he never came. I grew worried of course. What if something happened to him? But this is Rivendell, and it is safe here. Still, I felt a nagging feeling in my mind. Something was amiss.   
  
As dawn approached, I quietly left my chambers in search of Aragorn. I silently crept past guest chamber doors, where the newly formed Fellowship was still asleep. I finally came upon his door. I didn't knock. I opened the door. Nothing. His bed was made. So he did not sleep here last night. Even more puzzled, I left the room and walked down the hall.  
  
Something in my mind told me to stop. I noticed I was as the chamber door of Arwen, Elrond's beautiful daughter. I knew it was wrong, yet I found myself gently opening the door. Thankfully, it didn't make a sound. My eyes immediately went to where the bed was. What I saw almost made me gasp out loud. Somehow, I restrained myself. My legs felt weak, but my eyes never left the bed, for lying on the silken sheets was a very nude Aragorn, with his arms wrapped around an equally naked Arwen. Both were still asleep.  
  
Shocked, I quickly left the room, closing the door behind me. Once outside the room, I sank to the ground in the hallway. Tears slid down my cheeks, but I did not sob. I was still in disbelief. My heart is breaking. I don't understand. How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me. All those years, secretly together... he told me he loved me more than Middle Earth itself. He told me I held the key to his heart. He told me he would die if I weren't with him. He lied to me. Every word. Every kiss, every touch, a lie.   
  
I am a fool. I felt ill all of a sudden. I ran as fast as I could to my room and threw up in an empty flowerpot. After, I just lay on the floor, and this time, I did sob, and my body shook, and I cried until I had no more tears left.  
  
It wasn't until my stomach started growling, that I became aware of my surroundings once more. I was still lying on my back on the cold floor. Not that I noticed it was cold or that my face was covered in dry tears.  
  
Someone was knocking. I scrambled to my feet. I couldn't let anyone see me like this. I quickly attempted to make myself presentable, and went to open the door. I found myself looking down at a hobbit. I remembered his name is Pippin.   
  
"Good morning Master Legolas" he said.  
  
"Good morning Master Pippin."  
  
"Gandalf asked me to come get you for breakfast."  
  
I was about to decline, but my stomach had other thoughts. I truly did NOT want to be around others right now, but I knew I couldn't just stay in my room all day, as much as I wanted to. Besides, I was not a coward. I am a proud Prince of Mirkwood, and I would not let anyone see my vulnerability. So I found myself walking to the dining hall, all the while, dreading to see HIM there.   
  
Thankfully, luck was on my side this morn. He was not there, yet. I bowed to Lord Elrond, who was giving me a strange look, and sat down. Immediately, I felt eyes on me. Elrond's and Gandalf's eyes to be precise. I met their gaze evenly, for I was not about to show them how distraught I was. But they were not fooled. I knew they noticed that my eyes were all puffy. I knew they were silently wondering what was wrong. I was certainly NOT about to tell them. Twas really none of their business, but truthfully, I felt I would break down again if asked. Thankfully, no one else noticed.  
  
My attention was drawn to the annoying dwarf Gimili, who was busy explaining dwarven craftsmanship to the hobbits. They actually looked interested in what he was saying, which surprised me, for I thought their interests lied mainly with food.  
  
Then SHE walked in. Not surprisingly, Aragon was not with her. No, of course not, that would be too suspicious, I thought, with a bitter smile.  
  
"Good morning father, good morning all."  
  
There was a chorus of "good mornings" from around the table. I said naught. I didn't even look at her as she sat down and ate her breakfast as if nothing happened, as if she didn't make love to MY Aragorn last night. Sigh. Why am I angry with her? She probably didn't even know about Aragorn and I. He probably never even mentioned it to her. It's HIM that I should be angry with.  
  
And I was. Oh yes, I was, I seethed, as my knuckles turned white from gripping my fork too tight.  
  
Five minutes later, Aragorn walked in and exclaimed, "Forgive my lateness, I overslept."   
  
Right. Overslept. I wonder why.   
  
He sat down directly across from me. I did not look away as he regarded me. I just gave him the best blank look I could. But what was it that I saw in his eyes? Nervousness? Fear? Guilt? Keep staring at me Aragorn; you won't see any hurt in MY face. I will not show you how much you have hurt me, I won't give you that pleasure.  
  
I hate him. I despise him. I could kill him. But deep inside my mind, I know it's not true. Yes, I am confused, hurt and angry. But hate him? No. I cannot hate him, for my love is stronger than hate. However, I also can't forgive him. Not that he's even confronted me or apologized for what he has done. And even if he did, I know that I could never forgive him. Forgive and Forget? No, that is not possible. Even now my heart is breaking, and I could care less about what he is feeling right now.  
  
I finally look down and chew my food, like everything is fine, which is far from the truth. Chew and swallow, drink some water, chew some more. See, I am fine. Gandalf, please stop staring at me. Keep chewing. Is Arwen saying something to me? I could care less. I just nod to her and pretend like I heard what she was saying. Aragorn, I beg you, stop looking at me. I won't dare look up again. I fear I will lose all control and break down in front of everyone. I couldn't let the dwarf see that. I would never live it down.  
  
As soon as I finished eating, I rose, excused myself, and left, without even glancing at a single person. I went to my room grabbed my cloak, and went outside. The fresh air felt nice. Twas not chilly out, but I had decided to take my cloak anyway, for when grief set in, I found myself shivering more often. Great, I shall have to live out my life always feeling cold. Sigh; best not think on that now. Tomorrow we set out, to destroy the One Ring. I am not afraid of the dangers or even the destination, but I don't know how I am going to handle being around Aragorn. I certainly know that I do not wish to constantly be around him, for I do not wish to die of grief on the journey. Maybe I will befriend the dwarf. I actually manage to smile. That would be a challenge indeed.  
  
Instead of taking my horse, I decide to walk to my destination. Tis not a long walk anyway. Finally, I reach my favorite spot in all of Rivendell. I sigh, for it is the same spot Aragorn and I first kissed. It had been a beautiful day. Not like today...I sit on the soft grass, and my feet dangle over a steep cliff. On the other side of the cliff is a waterfall. On sunny days, it's quite a lovely sight to behold. But right now, the whole surrounding area looks melancholy. To match my mood, I think. Even the grass doesn't appear to be as green as usual.   
  
I hear footsteps approaching. I silently pray they don't belong to Aragorn. Yet I already knew they did, for they were quite soft for a human, but not as soundless as an elf's steps. I don't turn around; in fact I don't move at all to acknowledge his presence.   
  
He stops a good five feet from my back. I can almost feel his hesitation. His breathing is quite jagged I notice. So he is nervous. I however, find myself strangely calm. Almost serene. I don't contemplate on this much longer because he has decided to speak.  
  
"Legolas," he breathed. "My love..."  
  
I cringe at that word. I feel myself getting angry. Love? How dare he?  
  
"What do you want Aragorn?" I ask as calmly as possible.  
  
"To talk." He says.  
  
"There is nothing to say, nor is there anything I wish to hear Aragorn."  
  
He comes up around me and sits next to me. I do not look at him; I just stare ahead at the rushing waterfall. I can see from the corner of my eye that he is trying to formulate words. An explanation? An apology? Should I even care?  
  
"Legolas, I know you know what I did."  
  
He doesn't even try to hide it. How noble of him. I almost laugh at that.  
  
"Aye, I know."  
  
For some reason, he starts to panic. I guess he realizes that there is no turning back now. He sighs.  
  
"Legolas, I cannot express into words how sorry I am. I know you do not believe me, but I am. I know I hurt you, but I swear it was not my intention to. What happened means nothing to me. I love you, and only you."  
  
I felt dirty all of a sudden. Was that his explanation? Did I actually hear that? He's sorry? It didn't mean anything? Who does he think I am? I finally turn to him and this time, I don't even bother to cover up my anger.  
  
"How dare you come to me with this pitiful declaration. You don't love me. You can't say you love me and then go to HER bed! I waited all night for you! I thought something happened to you. And THIS is all you have to say to me? You're SORRY? You must think very lowly of me Aragorn if you thought I was just going to accept that. You know, I don't even care why you did it. It doesn't matter anymore. You did it and you can't change it."  
  
"Legolas, please, I know. I know I made a mistake. You have to believe me. I was weak, I admit it, I don't dare ask for forgiveness, for I know you will not give it now, but please, you must believe me that I never meant to hurt you."  
  
"Yes Aragorn, you are right, I will not forgive you, for what you did is unforgivable." I look to him, and his eyes are wide, and he appears like he is about to weep. I soften my gaze only because he is on his knees now, and looking absolutely pitiful. A tear slides down his face. I stand up to leave, for I do not wish to be here any longer with him.  
  
I look down at him though. "Aragorn. I will put my feelings aside, for the sake of the fellowship and this quest, for emotions cannot get in the way. However, after this task is done, if we both survive this, I will not tarry. I cannot trust you as I did before, nor will I share you. So, I leave you. I will always hold love for you, for you were my first and only love, but what you did, I can't forgive. I set you free Aragorn; you may have anyone you wish now. Goodbye Elessar."   
  
He is still in the same position as I turn and slowly walk away. Still in hearing range, I hear Aragorn, in a choked voice exclaim:  
  
"But I only want you Legolas..."  
  
I stop. I don't turn to him though, I won't. Still staring straight ahead, I manage to say:  
  
"I'm sorry...I can't."  
  
And I walk away from him, knowing that I am walking away from all I've ever loved. Tears blind my vision as I walk back towards the Last Homely House, never once looking back.  
  
So, you like? Shall I write a sequel or leave as is? 


End file.
